I’ve started a myriad of blogs about a variety of things since my last update… but I either finish them and don’t feel like ever reading them again, so they will remain drafts forever, or I get bored and leave them unfinished, or I over-think it and realize its like a 2000 word post and that no one will ever care enough to read the whole thing. However, today that changes, because as I came to work tonight I saw something that actually got under my skin enough to write about: Christmas decorations.
The most obvious reason it irritates me is the obvious “never put up Xmas decorations before Thanksgiving” rule. But that’s been obliterated by just about every retail chain, so I can’t really hold these mindless “individuals” responsible for following larger social trends by egging just their houses. If I really wanted to make a difference I’d have to egg all the retail stores I see with Xmas shit up already, and that would be too much work and would cost way too much money. Plus, I rather like eggs. Not as friends or decorations, but as food. And yeah, as friends too.
Another reason is that I just don’t fucking get it… why do people feel the need to spend hours of their freetime putting up gaudy decorations around their house and lawn to remind everyone that its the worst time of the year once more? Is it worth paying for them just to display for a month and then store all year? Is it worth the wasted electricity? Is it worth the time and trouble knowing that all it’s really showing is that you are a superficial, materialistic, ignorant fuck? I would hope not. But then again… maybe they know something I don’t.
Lastly, it just reminds me of a lot of shattered dreams, weird memories, and lost hopes. It makes me reminisce about a time when I believed in fairy-tales and superstitions… a time where I discriminated against people who didn’t believe in those same stupid ideals… a time where I did and said a lot of stupid shit that I now know was just stupid shit that I shouldn’t have said and can’t believe I ever actually believed. I don’t think I’d go back and change any of it because I think I turned out pretty awesome in the end, but it doesn’t mean I have to like the route I took to get to awesometown.
Plus, I’ve blacked out most of those memories with booze, caffeine, and a general lack of sleep, so its mostly the other things I mentioned. You know, the first two; the ones that are funnier and less depressing. I shoulda stopped after them probably. But I didn’t. Maybe you did though. That woulda been smart.
I read the whole blog and was saved from depression by the image of you and your egg friends. As for the why of Christmas decorations, maybe it has something to do with working hard to maintain the illusion that, yes, if we all work together we can pretend that things really do bring us happiness. Or maybe not. I don’t really get it, either.
And I have a question: I know when I like an egg, but how do I know if an egg wants to be friends with me. Or does it matter what an egg wants, since I’m so much higher up on the food chain?
You can really tell if eggs like you if they start smelling bad after a while. Once they get comfortable enough with you to stop showering regularly, you know you’re part of the inner circle.